Hello Old...Friend?

I have been going through some strange and difficult times in the last 6 months or so and things have just gotten really weird.  Many things in my life and in me have changed in the last couple years and sometimes when I look at myself, I do not recognize me.  I had a conversation with my roommate last week and she told me that I needed to accept myself and become confident in me.  It was so weird because I did that already.  When I was 16 I decided to focus on the positive aspects of myself and stop caring what people thought about me.  I thought I was a very confident person.  Unfortunately, the last couple years I have been looking older and older and recently I found myself very alone.  I can’t even remember my self confidence ever being this low.  Oh wait, yes I do…in junior high and high school.  So my roommate explained that when she was 28 she went through a similar situation and she had to really work through some things and accept who she is now all over again. 

This week, I went to a wedding that was very much like a 10 year reunion and I realized that I was that same little 15 year old girl who thought she was ugly and nobody wanted anything to do with her.  It was terrible. Even my good friend Krista tried to encourage me and I couldn’t believe a word she said.  My roommate was right.  I am going to have to stop seeing every wrinkle and bad habit I have developed in the last 29 years and start focusing on the good aspects of who I am and what stage of life I am in.  I really am my worst critic and if I had a friend who thought about me the way I do, I wouldn’t want to be around them.  I guess I am just going to have to start looking for the good so I can stop being a bad friend.