I am so excited about the U2 concert this weekend. I can honestly say that I have not been this excited about anything in YEARS. Little Sister mentioned to me today that it is going to be in the 70s and how we are going to be drinking beer (and I was already sooo excited to see Wes). I got so excited and now I can’t concentrate! Then I started thinking about how Stephanie and I are going to go to Capitol Hill Block Party (which I have wanted to go to the last couple years but never have) and I my excitement compounded. Then I started feeling guilty.
This may seem to the reader like a total change of subject and I honestly don’t care to fill in the blanks. I realized that in dating, I am able to love people who are so different from me because I love new and exciting things. I love being introduced to a new culture, different genres of music, exotic foods, and new activities. But then I find myself a couple years in and I realize that a part of me is starved.
I remember when I broke up with Jimi, I was driving one day and found myself so happy to turn on the radio to 107.7 (The End). I had pretty much only heard hip hop music for 2 years! Don’t get me wrong, I love hip hop, rap, r&b, jazz, blues, etc. The thing is, I realized that the guys I date tend to not reciprocate my willingness to adjust and try new things. I end up feeling like I am starved for certain things whether certain music, old friends, a kind of food, or just new adventures. Then I end up feeling guilty for wanting to do these things on my own and not be weighed down by the other person’s lack of interest.
This is just one of the many reasons I feel like I should just be single. I don’t know that there is anyone out there that will be able to participate in all the facets of my personality. Is there a guy out there who will want to go to Jazz Alley on Friday and then a karaoke bar with my friends on Saturday, church on Sunday and stay home reading and watching movies throughout the week? Is there someone who will go salsa dancing, hiking, camping, enjoy fine dining, sports games, and love to read? Is there really a guy out there who can keep me intellectually stimulated, make me laugh and appreciate just being together without words? Am I being ridiculous? Should I just accept that I am too much for anyone? Should I just admit myself into an institution? These are rhetorical questions. Oh well, for now…I AM GOING TO U2! With a great friend, beautiful weather and my favorite Little Sister!
Sister. This man does exist... he may not love every one of those things, but he'll love spending time with you, he'll love new experiences like you do, he'll value culture and ideas as you do, and should you want to do something and he not... he'll be a man who either goes with you so you're not alone, or doesn't make you feel guilty for going alone. Oh yes sister, he exists. :)
ReplyDeleteThat man is me! :) hahahahahahahah. I kid. Kind of. But i think like sister says, he may not love every one of those things, but he'll support you just because you love it.
ReplyDelete-Steph