Thoughts on Healing

I am reading a book called Comeback by Claire and Mia Fontaine. It is the story of a mother and daughter. The father sexually abused the daughter when she was just a toddler and the book is about how that situation shapes the rest of their lives. The ways Mia coped as an adolescent and the entire process of treatment and therapy for each of them.

I was hoping for a lighthearted book and ended up with sex-abuse, incest, rape, drug addiction and pretty much inner demons. So, it turns out: not so lighthearted. The daughter is entered into a treatment program that (as of page 256) she has been in for 18 months. As crazy as it sounds, the program reminds me a little of Master’s Commission, except of course the people running are educated and qualified professionals to deal with the issues that these kids are facing.

What struck me is the difference in the way they deal with the issues the kids face from the way “the church” deals with them. I found in these kinds of issues, the church likes to have these magical moments where everything is all fixed up in one emotional and powerful encounter. In the program Mia eners, these kids have those kinds of moments over and over again and after 18 months stuff is still rearing its ugly head in her life. It has me thinking about therapy and life and childhood.

I wonder if things that happen to a child and the way a child is raised will inevitably and irreparably alter the course of a child’s life until they have the opportunity to have a professional explain to them the many affects those things have had on them and how it is determining so many aspects of their lives. Abusive parents result in abusive children. Little girls (and boys) who are sexually abused are completely altered in so many ways, from the way they relate to the themselves, to the way they internalize their pain and hate, to the way they relate to the opposite sex.

This book has me thinking that our lives can be directed by our pasts unless we intentionally put ourselves in the position to face these experiences and realities. This little girl (and her mother) fights tooth and nail to deal with these issues and it is not like some magical moment changes everything. They fight for break through after breakthrough. It is like they have to re-train their muscles to do what they are supposed to do after years of using them incorrectly.