In Retrospect

I consistently hear dreams and challenges of change all around me.  So many people feel that they have wasted so much time and not done what it is that they want or they have not accomplished what it is that they desire.  Perhaps it is a general feeling of angst in my generation that they are tired of hearing about change but not seeing or feeling it. 

I had dinner with an old friend a few weeks ago and I can honestly say that though he is not religious, he is the most encouraging and challenging individual on my facebook.  Every day he posts something about working hard, making the most of every day and truly reaching your full potential.  He believes it.  One of his many jobs is to help get jobs to unemployed people.  He is extremely motivated and has a good heart.  He was telling me how he finds that many to most women he dates are not driven or motivated by their own dreams (clearly he doesn’t know any of my friends…but I digress).  So he asked me, “Is there anything you have always wanted to do but never have?”  I told him I would have to mull that over and get back to him.  A few days later, I texted him “No”.

I sometimes think about how my life would have been different if I had just pursued what I was good at instead of pursuing what I am most passionate about: AKA dance.  Don’t get me wrong, when I dance, I feel strong, confident, capable, and truly alive.  It is a feeling like no other feeling in the world but I don’t believe I would have felt fulfilled in my life work if I had done that.  I may have a smokin’ hot body but that is not what we are talking about right now. 

When other people talk about setting goals and making intentional steps every day to get to those goals, I don’t feel any regret.  I get frustrated sometimes at how long it has taken me to get where I am going but I have never stopped setting my goals and fighting for them.  I can’t make it sound pretty.  That is not really what I do.  I just fight tooth and nail every day.  Yesterday I had to write a check for $400.00 and sit by a mailbox for 4 hours to fight for my dreams.  For the last two years, I have had to invest everything into my job and remember how much I learn from “Old Crazy Hair.”  My dreams aren’t real pretty anyway.  But I truly believe in where I am going and I have never stopped trying to get there.  I have regretted some things I have done but I am fortunate enough to say that I don’t regret NOT doing anything.