2010

I know it's cliche but I am going to do it anyway. 2010 holds a lot of meaning for me. I accomplished goals I had been pursuing for many years (many many). I graduated college after 10 years. And after 4 years of major sacrifices that hurt my pride, 2010 held release and change. I moved back out on my own and got to have a "big girl" job again. I am back in the field of my dreams. It was a pretty good year.

In the last several months I have continued to find myself saying how different I am and how different I feel. It is not the kind of change I have intentionally made. You know the changes that feel forced? You want to be something and so you start acting that way even though it feels unnatural. This is like when you look in the mirror one day and realize you are no longer the little girl you once were an often still think of yourself as. This year I realized just how much change my obedience in the last 5 years has created in me. My relationship with my family has deepened. My circle of amazing friends has broadened. I have grown stronger, more patient, more focused and even more clean. I am pretty happy about most of the changes I have noticed in 2010. I am thankful for everything God did in me leading up to and during 2010.

However, there were also some very dark and difficult aspects of 2010. 2010 was a year of heartbreak and daunting loneliness for me. I loved and I lost. I tried and I failed. I took risks and I suffered the unknown consequences. While my heart is wounded and it may take some time to heal, I believe I have learned a lot about myself and was faced with some of my own weaknesses and fears.

So I think if I had to sum 2010 up in a few words i would say it was a year of successes, heartbreak and self realization. Thank you Lord for everything you did in, through, and for me in 2010.