So I was thinking the other day about law school and how it has been about 8 months since I have taken any steps to get there. I guess it is kind of hard for me to want to start that process all over again. After pending 6 months of hard work (on top of full time work and school) as well as over $2,000.00 on law school applications, only to be denied by each school, I have found it a bit hard to muster the courage to dust myself off and get back on that horse. But I know I have to do it. I think I have been feeling quite lost the last few months. Nothing in my life has turned out how I hoped or planned. I feel I have been fighting all the same battles. I kind of feel like the Israelites must have felt 28 years into their 40 years of wandering in the dessert: purposeless and ready to let go of hope for fear hope being deferred any longer. I am not saying I am ungrateful for the blessings I have received this year but honestly, nothing has turned out how I hoped for or planned on.
So, back to law school (which I hoped and planned to be done with 3 years ago), I was thinking about what steps I should be taking right now in order to get my applications in early enough to stand a chance. I decided I should be writing my essay. So then I got totally overwhelmed, again. The idea of convincing these people to give me this special opportunity that thousands of other applicants want as a white, middle class woman with no money and mediocre grades is quite a feat. Actually it makes me want to cry. I was racking my brain trying to think of what the focus of my essay should be. And it hit me: Faith. Not only is it my passion, and my identity, it is my story. I am 28 years old and still chasing the same dream because I know it is my destiny even if my path has taken me on a million different detours and brought me to face to face with unfathomable obstacles. Now I still have the same challenge ahead of me in writing my essay and preparing my applications but at least I have a little inspiration and it is always helpful to remember who I am when trying to fight for my dreams.
funny how our names really do speak of who we are at our core, huh? It can seem almost cheesy, but it's the one thing I feel we can't escape. It's who God created us to be and set in our parents' heart to name us. Somedays, I almost feel it's a curse, but really, I know how much of a gift it is... and I think it's part of why we are so strong. I love you Kristin Faith, and I look forward to reading that essay. Afterall, you ARE the one that's been published. ;)
ReplyDeletehaaahaaa so true Kati! I agree completely with ya Krissy-Poo. Though where does Dawn fit in? Yeah probably nowhere. Oh well :-)
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