The Rules for Reading

     Hello All (and by all I mean 5)!  I am sitting in my little loft in Davis, frantically trying to get enough homework done to survive another week at school.  I am reading a book for my negotiations class and as I am nearing the end, I am getting excited to have another book to add to my list.  Growing up, my dad taught my sisters and I certain rules about reading.  That's correct, we have rules and we live by them (as best we can anyway).  First rule: We were not allowed to start a new book until we had completed the book we were reading.  Second rule: keep a running list of the books you have read.  Third rule: the book cannot go on that list until you have read it entirely.  Now these may seem like good rules to teach your future OCD children, but there are some flaws.  I don't just mean that we waste valuable time reading a stupid book because we started, though that is unfortunate.
     This semester I have had several challenges with these rules.  First, I have listened to about 10 books on CD in the last year.  I love it.  It keeps me from road rage because I am stuck in traffic and counting the minutes I am unable to get my homework done.  It is also the only way I can get any "reading for pleasure" in to my law school life.  However, do I get to put them on the list?  I technically did not read them.  I do not like this gray area.
     I am also in a class for history PhD students this semester (a first for me) where I have learned that graduate students are assigned a book a week or more (usually 400-500) pages of academic history.  I knew I should drop the class when I realized what I had done but it was on slavery, history and the law.  So I stayed in the class. The truth is, there is absolutely no way I can read the entire book when I have 5 classes and they each have hundreds of pages a week.  So I asked the students how they do it.  They explained they read the introduction, chapter 1,  the conclusion and any chapters that apply to their "work" (they also only take 2-3 classes per semester).  So I have been attempting this.  I am not good at this because of the rules.  I need to read it all.  So I end up reading about 2/3 and getting behind in all my other classes, only to not be able to finish and then have to start a new book the following week.  It is killing me!  Not only am I braking the rules, I have rent 2/3 of about 10 books in the last 8 weeks and I can't put them on my list!!!  Every week I feel tortured by this situation.  I ALWAYS finish all my readings and all my books.
     I realize this is a ridiculous post and I apologize but I know my sisters read this blog and they will feel my pain and that is all that matters.

I'm Here!

Good morning world!
Today, I resolve once again to attempt to post more frequently.  It's been quite a summer.  My plan was to keep my work and school to a minimum so I could recover from a very difficult 2L year.  However, Amir got a job in Sacramento, CA and moved away during finals.  We agreed that I would apply to Berkeley School of Law and if I got in I would come live near him.  Otherwise, we tough out 1 year of long distance. So I applied with no hope of getting in and 2 days later, my summer became nothing like I planned.  Between my internship and my weekend job, I worked a ton. I packed everything I own, moved it into a storage unit, and lived with my sister's fiancé for 3 weeks. It has been a crazy ride this summer. I drove down here to live on Tuesday night. I have one box of clothes with me and my coffee maker. I still haven't figured out where I am going to live or registered for my classes.  My life is so unknown.  But once I opened the door with that application, I felt like I had to walk through it. Everything about this is extremely uncomfortable to me.  I think about running back home to the life I am comfortable with.  I feel vulnerable and afraid.  But this video (The Power of Vulnerability) is something that keeps me going most days.  Wish me luck!

Never Again.

If I had to do the last 10 months over again, I wouldn't do it.  Not for a million dollars.

Frozen

Akira was in town for spring break last week and we had a date night: Amir, Akira, me, Amir’s bomb nachos, and the movie Frozen.  I am not even gonna lie about it.  I was so sad when Amir and Akira went to see it without me in Texas.  I have been wanting to see it and my favorite munchkins at all seen it.  So when they invited me over for nachos and Frozen, I was ecstatic.  It was so good to see Akira, whom I have missed dearly and it was so fun to see the movie with her.

And can I just say how much I loved the whole sister dynamic of that movie?  Neither needed a man to save them.  I also found it fascinating a Disney movie threw out the “true love” card and then the guy was like, “just kidding, I’m evil.” Haha.  I wish I had seen a little more of that as a little girl.  But that is neither here nor there.  I just loved the sister relationship being in the spotlight.  Maybe it’s because I just love my sisters so much and I am glad to see Disney encouraging that relationship and not just romantic ones.  Maybe its just cause I miss my sisters a lot.  Either way, I was pretty happy about it.  And I hope soon I will be able to sing along like Akira can. J

Doing Work

If you would like to see a little tidbit on my work at the ACLU this semester, checkout the ALCU's Blog. :)

2nd Year: They Work the Hell Out of You

     I realize I have gone from regular blogging to rare posts.  It seems boring to say I am just so busy, though it’s true.  In all honesty, there have been times I wanted to post but I just don’t know what to say.  Who wants to hear about my classes and my internships or externships?  You know when people have kids and they just can’t talk about anything else?  People without children want to be encouraging and supportive but enough is enough.  I have found myself in those situations questioning, “do we just have nothing in common anymore?”  And those sweet parents explain that they are lost in a world of crying, teething, diapers, and first words.  They don’t have a lot else to offer and they don’t have time to stop and think about their inner thoughts or growth. 

     I think that’s a little similar to how I feel.  I know that people don’t want to hear about law school doctrines, case law, brief writing, or oral arguments.  On one too many occasions I have seen the eyes of friends and family glaze over as I try to share my life with them.  I don’t blame them.  It doesn’t make sense and it’s boring. 

     I have very little personal life to share and with my mental capacity completely spent, I can’t even think of funny quips or thoughtful comments to make the world think.  Life in law school has taken a toll on me.  In fact, it’s taken all of me: my time and my mind.  When I call it quits for the day, I want to sleep or turn my brain off.  I honestly don’t know how I feel about most things most days.  And I am too mentally and physically exhausted to figure out how I do feel.

     By no means do I want this post to come across as negative or complaining.  It is really just trying to explain the changes.  Today I focus on successfully surviving each day.  I love everything I am learning.  I am proud of how far I have come.  But it is a very challenging season of my life.  I just keep my eye on the prize and aim to succeed. There are these beautiful moments when I see progress, growth, or change.  There are even days when I feel proud of myself. But then I have to run to the next challenge. So please be patient with me.  There will be a time when I laugh more and my witty sense of humor will shine through again.  There may even be a day when I share my relationship of funny things my kids did that day. 

     Only 7 more weeks until I am done with my second year of law school! Hopefully I will have fun and exciting things to share this summer. J  Stay tuned.