This Chapter

     My story is no fairy tale.  There have been princesses in my story but they never had the lead role.  There have been monsters but the "heroine" of my story never sees them coming.  She confused the monsters with heroes, danger with adventure, and scars with lessons.  Some chapters have had unhappy endings.  Everyone's story changes them.  Everyone's quest creates a new character at each turn.  My story has been filled with life, love, loss, disappointment, lessons, triumph, failure and haunting memories.  My story is not what most think or expect from its cover but is not unlike many others. 

     I couldn't wait to start this chapter.  You know how it is, the chapter has such a promising title and after so many pages you just know it's going to be a great one.  All the chapters before that have been up and down, the chapters with too much excitement squeezed into a few pages and the chapters that dragged on, causing you to feel like you are waiting for something else and you don't know what it is.  But as the promising chapter unfolds, this sense of continuity becomes overwhelming.  All the chapters before it are tangled into it.  All the lessons are challenged.  All the mistakes weaken the resolve to continue.  All the fears dance around the character.  As you read her story, you want to slap her, you want to yell at her, you want to laugh and cry.  "What is wrong with her!" you think to yourself.  "Why doesn't she get it?" you sneer.  You can't remember why you keep reading this story!  "She can't still be so weak and afraid and easily disillusioned?  Can she?"  You get tired of her.  You get tired of her weakness.  You get tired of her fears. But maybe, in a beautiful moment of inner strength, she will make her story better.  Maybe a knight in shining armor will finally come for this damsel who is always in distress.