Growing Old Alone

So I am turning 27 this week and certainly feeling it. Since I turned 25 I have noticed sagging tits, flabby arms (which I dealt with severely), love handles, a tummy I am constantly fighting, wrinkles, bags under my eyes, skin spots and so on. I did not think these problems would plague me before 30. When I was younger and so idealistic (not that I'm not still idealistic but I guess just differently) I always said I wanted to marry around 30. I had a lot of things I wanted to do and my dreams were never to just get married and have kids. However, I did not anticipate the entropy that would occur to my body in the last 10 years. I am starting to worry now that I have increased my intimidation factor by my education and career and decreased my "curb appeal" which means the odds of some handsome young buck falling for me are decreasing with each December that comes around and bites me in the ass. This is more a humorous blog about getting old than a sob story but seriously, I am startin to worry a little bit.

Purging

I have decided to make some changes in my life. I am cleaning the mess out of my life. I am simplifying. All the messy relationships in my life have to go. All the friendships that are simply a weight around my neck are getting cut off. I am getting rid of all unneccessary anxiety and saving myself the unwanted stress. No more boys who "care about me" or LOVE me but are just not ready for commitment. No more friends who are selfish and demanding. I am cleaning house. All or nothing from here on out. I am only allowing people who show me they love me in thier everyday actions in my life. I am not partying cause I am just too damn old. I am not doing things just because my friends want me to. I am eating better and going back to yoga. I am so over feeling like my life is always out of control. Officially taking control.

Truth

I have always desired truth no matter what the cost. I have never believed that truth was relative. I think Jesus is the speaker of truth. I have dedicated my life to seeking truth no matter how hard it may be to find and what the cost may be. That cost has been high. I have been isolated, ridiculed and accused. I am not being dramatic, though it may seem that way. I have lost everything at times in my life, I have walked a lonely path. I want so badly to find the truth. I want to stand before the Lord on judgement day and hear him say well done good and faithful servant. I know I have made many mistakes. But my prayer is that I do what is right in the eyes of the Lord even if I fail in the eyes of everyone else. But I really would love a little support every once in a while. For someone to look at me and see that I have been fighting with all my strength for so many years instead of only my failures would be great. 

Don't Expect Much.

I have two beautiful and brilliant sisters who love to blog and are tired of my anonymous replies. I may blog but I am not filtering myself so like it or don't but I always keep it real. : )