Second Guesses

What do you think about trusting yourself?  I hear a lot of conflicting views on trusting one’s self.  Some say we are all sinful and none of us actually deserves to be trusted.  Some people say (especially women) that we have to learn to trust ourselves and listen to our instincts.  Maybe men just don’t question themselves as much as women?  I don’t but in the last couple weeks…scratch that…in the last 8 years, I have become quite skeptical of myself.  I don’t trust my memory, my competence, my intelligence, and the list goes on.  My instincts (especially in the relationship department) have been banished to the depths of my toes because I think they have a short circuit.

You know how some people hate when their boss questions if they did something or did something right every step of the way?  Not me.  I like it.  I don’t trust me anymore than he does and I would much rather he catch a mistake I might make before it causes me my job or him his license.  Thus far, I have fortunately not made many mistakes here and that is nice because I can tell my boss is trusting me more and more.  I however, know better. 

In life though, this little problem of mine has been severely interfering with my sleep.  I lay there second guessing everything I did during the day, even to the point where I question whether I am remembering correctly.  It is no bueno.  If anybody out there actually reads this blog, I would really like to know your thoughts.  Is my second guessing what makes me good at my job and a safety net for my life?  Or am I paralyzing myself with doubt and fear?