This Was Her Story

Friday, May 9, 2014

Never Again.

If I had to do the last 10 months over again, I wouldn't do it. Not for a million dollars.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Akira was in town for spring break last week and we had a date night: Amir, Akira, me, Amir’s bomb nachos, and the movie Frozen. I am not even gonna lie about it. I was so sad when Amir and Akira went to see it without me in Texas. I have been wanting to see it and my favorite munchkins at all seen it. So when they invited me over for nachos and Frozen, I was ecstatic. It was so good to see Akira, whom I have missed dearly and it was so fun to see the movie with her.

And can I just say how much I loved the whole sister dynamic of that movie? Neither needed a man to save them. I also found it fascinating a Disney movie threw out the “true love” card and then the guy was like, “just kidding, I’m evil.” Haha. I wish I had seen a little more of that as a little girl. But that is neither here nor there. I just loved the sister relationship being in the spotlight. Maybe it’s because I just love my sisters so much and I am glad to see Disney encouraging that relationship and not just romantic ones. Maybe its just cause I miss my sisters a lot. Either way, I was pretty happy about it. And I hope soon I will be able to sing along like Akira can. J

Doing Work

If you would like to see a little tidbit on my work at the ACLU this semester, checkout the ALCU's Blog. :)

Thursday, March 20, 2014

2nd Year: They Work the Hell Out of You

I realize I have gone from regular blogging to rare posts. It seems boring to say I am just so busy, though it’s true. In all honesty, there have been times I wanted to post but I just don’t know what to say. Who wants to hear about my classes and my internships or externships? You know when people have kids and they just can’t talk about anything else? People without children want to be encouraging and supportive but enough is enough. I have found myself in those situations questioning, “do we just have nothing in common anymore?” And those sweet parents explain that they are lost in a world of crying, teething, diapers, and first words. They don’t have a lot else to offer and they don’t have time to stop and think about their inner thoughts or growth.

I think that’s a little similar to how I feel. I know that people don’t want to hear about law school doctrines, case law, brief writing, or oral arguments. On one too many occasions I have seen the eyes of friends and family glaze over as I try to share my life with them. I don’t blame them. It doesn’t make sense and it’s boring.

I have very little personal life to share and with my mental capacity completely spent, I can’t even think of funny quips or thoughtful comments to make the world think. Life in law school has taken a toll on me. In fact, it’s taken all of me: my time and my mind. When I call it quits for the day, I want to sleep or turn my brain off. I honestly don’t know how I feel about most things most days. And I am too mentally and physically exhausted to figure out how I do feel.

By no means do I want this post to come across as negative or complaining. It is really just trying to explain the changes. Today I focus on successfully surviving each day. I love everything I am learning. I am proud of how far I have come. But it is a very challenging season of my life. I just keep my eye on the prize and aim to succeed. There are these beautiful moments when I see progress, growth, or change. There are even days when I feel proud of myself. But then I have to run to the next challenge. So please be patient with me. There will be a time when I laugh more and my witty sense of humor will shine through again. There may even be a day when I share my relationship of funny things my kids did that day.

Only 7 more weeks until I am done with my second year of law school! Hopefully I will have fun and exciting things to share this summer. J Stay tuned.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Summer Update

Hello world!

I am very sorry to anyone who reads my blog in hopes of keeping up with my life. I have been absolutely terrible at keeping everyone posted on the progress of my first year of law school so I will try to sum it up for you.

I have completed my first year of law school! Grades are in and I passed all my classes! I was offered an awesome internship this summer with The Racial Disparity Project. I am 8 weeks in to my 10 week internship and it has been extremely challenging. While is has been an amazing learning experience and networking opportunity, it has been intense. Many of the responsibilities and expectations have required me second year knowledge so I have been learning as much as I can as fast as I can but I have felt behind most of the time. It is so worth it though! I am so impressed by the work that RDP is involved int. It inspires and encourages me to keep going.

I am also taking a night class this summer. It is Professional Responsibility and it is not too overwhelming, the professor is very engaging and he keeps me awake until 9:30, when the class ends. The days are long and I am tired most days.

I also started working at a coffee shop on the weekends so there is really no way to catch up on sleep then. However, it is the one thing I feel good at! I don’t have a huge learning curve and that is refreshing.

As for my personal life (lol. You know, those OTHER three hours left in my week), I have been spending as much time as I can with my sweet man and his sweet daughter. We have had some pool days and some park days and quite a few BBQs. We hope to do some hiking and some camping as soon as school is out! It has been great to spend time with them and soak up the beautiful weather we have been having!

I hope that this sufficiently updates you on the progress this crazy journey. I will try to do better this year. It has been so much harder than I could have ever imagined and survival is truly a major feat. I will try to have as much fun as I can over the next month and get some pics up!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Energy and Fire

Most days I feel tired. I feel empty. I feel like I have nothing left to give and I don’t know how I will make it through the day or attempt tomorrow. Most days I feel like a failure. I feel old and tired and worn. Most days, I think I have pushed myself too hard for too long and I just don’t have what it takes anymore, if I ever did.

And then there are these brief moments when someone else' thought slips through my ever focused and ever tired mind. I get a glimpse of a dream. The dream of a little girl with all the energy of youth and all the fire of life who doesn’t understand resistance. She just wants one day to change the world. She wants beauty and justice and truth. She doesn’t know the world will fight her every step of the way. She doesn’t know life will be hard on her. And that little girl chases the exhaustion and bitterness and negativity in my mind. For a brief second I am overwhelmed by an emotion I can’t explain. I know I am living the realization of that little girl's dream as I writ this Writ of Habeas Corpus or study the Constitution. She doesn’t know what it is but she wants this. And I want to give it to her.